Compulsions and addictions and how I overcome them

If you had to pick a name for the book of my life it would be:  Compulsions and addictions. My life has been characterized by these 2 simple words, since as long as I could remember.  The essence of both of these words has brought me a lot of grief but I can’t seem to help it when I get the urge to act. It didn’t matter if it was collecting cards for a game inspired by a famous anime or drinking, smoking and on a later date playing a MMORPG for days without stopping (which almost cost my scholarship in college).

Some time ago I got hold over my compulsions. I cut down on smoking, stopped playing games on the internet; stopped drinking as much and for a while it seemed I was getting better. In retrospect I think this period in my life was directly under the orchestration and influence of my now ex girlfriend. She was a wonder and a joy, a stabilizing influence in my otherwise chaotic and hectic life. But it didn’t last long. She was offered a better job too far away for us to keep the semblance of a normal relationship. We broke up and probably as a result 2 weeks later I was back on the wagon.

Please do not get me wrong. I admit I was a total mess, but I had a job at which I was very good. I even got promoted and I was and still am making a fairly decent living. But my personal life… or if we want to be more precise the lack of it due to my lifestyle was literally killing me.

The wakeup call came under the form of a mild heart attack. Well the doctors called it mild, in truth it scared me stiff like nothing ever has. I had to make some changes about my choice of life otherwise I wouldn’t even have that option.

So at first I cleaned my apartment from all the junk food, then bough a card for the gym. After a week I stopped smoking normal cigarettes and turned towards electronic smokeless cigarettes. No smoke in the ecig ergo no harm for me. I bought a ProVari from ProVape, probably the best brand out there. It’s a great device and I feel much better using it.

I didn’t stop there, after a month or so, on my new regime I decided that I need more discipline so I started studying martial arts. I can’t call myself a martial artist. I am but a novice but training Krav Maga gave me a firm foundation to which I can always return.

Now, my life is obviously different. And my ex-girlfriend is being promoted back here in NYC, she is still single so am I. And things are looking bright for me. I can only hope that my lucky star will continue to shine.


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